BLUER than BLUE (Jan 22, 2008)

Being denied on a visa interview is a very frustrating for people who failed the interview. I personally experienced this. I can say that it is really frustrating that they can’t give you a visa as of the moment. After I received the blue slip that tells that they can’t accept my application and can’t issue a visa, I feel that my dreams were broken into pieces. I didn’t only loose the pieces of my dreams it also ended my relationship with my love.

I didn’t want to breakup with my love one but there is nothing I can do, I’ve done everything, I took the risk, I also sacrifice a lot as well as my money. I talked to my love and explained what happened I also initiated the break up. My partner didn’t want to end our relationship but I have no assurance as well as security about us. I want to make things clear and I want to move on with my life. All my life I sacrificed everything to my love. I have been a good partner, good lover and good in bed. I aligned all my plans with my partner but still, I didn’t expect things to happen like that.

comfort zone

this past few weeks i feel that i am being put into test, this is the second time that i felt this way again... people make me feel that i am useless and stupid and there is nothing that i can do but to sit at the corner, think and keep quiet.

i dont know what i did to make them feel this way, i tried to be nice, honest and true to them. i changed my self from being sarcastic to a person that easy to be along with. but still they make me feel that way, well this is life maybe they are superior to me in someways.

sometimes, i really do regret why i applied on my company.... why do i need to be with the poeple that will make me feel stupid and dumb ass, first of all i am not getting paid to feel that way and i dont need to explain myself to them, i dont even need to please them to want me.

well from now on, i wont be open to them again on what i have, i will bring back the old me which i feel the better one. and right now im looking for my comfort zone, i want a peaceful mind and a sound environment.

What a sad song

I want you to stay

Never go away from me

Stay forever

But now, now that you're gone

all I can do is pray for you

To be here beside me again

*Why did you have to leave me

When you said that love will conquer all

why did you have to leave me

When you said that dreaming

Was as good as reality

And now I must move on

Trying to forget all the memories

Of you near me

But I can't let go of your love

That has taught me to hold on

I want you to stay never go away from me

Stay forever

But now, now that you're gone

All I can do is pray for you

To be here beside me again

(Repeat *)

And now I must move one

Trying to forget all the memories

Of you near me

But I can't let go of your love

That has taught me to hold on

(Repeat *twice)

Coda:I want you to stay never go away from me

Stay foreverI want to stay but I have to go my way

Oohhhmmm

what a sad song..... hehehehe its really hard to be in this situation ;-(

fRee-Bee

we were good friends for almost seven months now, though we have a misunderstandings before, i never blamed you, i just keep my mouth shut, i never explained because i know that you would not listen. i didn't turn back on you, and i never think of the bad things happened. whenever i think of you i always think of the happy moments that we have, i still remember, that almost every day we talk, we chat and we text each other, and everytime i receive an sms from you, you always make me smile. but as far as i know that i was a true friend to you and i am happy that you are ok now and i am glad that you are happy with your life with your friends and im sorry if i've done something wrong.... and don't worry nothing's change your still my closedfriend.

fREAKy CreepY WeDnEsDaY

every morning before i go to sleep, i always eat my breakfast and if i have an extra time i text my friends, and i always call my friend at work.... everything seems to be fine during that wednesday morning until all in sudden i felt weird and i felt that i don't want to come at work that night, i was talking to my friend when i felt this strange feeling. but my friend convinced me to come at work that night and my friend was successfully convinced me to go to work that night....

after our conversation i went to sleep and when i woke up in the evening while preparing to go to work i really feel low and my body doesn't want to go to work... but i still prepared my self and went to work. while i was on my way... usually i ride a jeep going to guadalupe and then a bus ride to cubao... i was walking in cubao and i still feel low and i really want to go home but there's nothing i can do... i dont want to sacrifice one day of work for my regularization..... i rode a jeep going to rosario from cubao and when we arrived at citibank in eastwood step off the jeep. this is the moment when the creepy freaky thing happened...

the story is this:
3 of us stepped off the jeep, we are crossing the road (e. rodriguez going to eastwood city) there is a red car (i dont remember if it is trooper, safari or patrol) approaching to us and as i see that it is going too fast and i felt that it might bump us so i run and also the other lady run too. but the third person wasnt able to run. the car was too fast and i think that the driver can take over the other lady, while the lady is approaching the aisle after us she didn't see that the car is going to bump her.... and the creepy and freaky thing happened i ddn't expect that the girl will be hit by that red car. tell you i see it with my bare naked eyes. i was shocked and i couldn't believe that it will happen. but i realized that life is short and only God knows when when will die........

BrokeN soul meets soul WeaveR

On a dreary Sunday afternoon, while I was having siesta. An old folk sent me an sms on my cellphone asking if we can talk. And during that time it was hot and I felt bored so I replied that it is ok with me to talk over the phone. I got a phone call and I talked to this person for almost three hours, my phone ran out of batteries, and still, I used a regular handset to continue talking. This person made me realize that it is not bad to trust people (mostly strangers). Though I know, before I was hesitant to talk to people but in time I learned how to trust them and help me to explore my world.

This person is different from all the people I have known even with my close friends. Other people may say that this person is bad, naughty or even tactless, but for me, being tactless of this person shows that this person is true in all aspects (but this person needs to be tactful! Just kidding). This person is resourceful, this person won’t ever leave you, and this person always makes you feel secured and assured.

And I want to correct the homo-erectus, homo sapiens and homo sexual (joke!) that this person is not BAD, actually these person is MEAN (just want to make this blog light) this person is really a true person and not all people see this that this person posses it (that’s why I’m grateful that I’ve met this person)…. Just want you to know that I’m very lucky to know this person. To those who turn back to this person, I want you to know that you will regret the day that you turned back on this human being; you have lost half of your life because of leaving this person.